When I look at the world I see division and conflict everywhere. I’m sure you do too.
I see animosity towards others because of what they identify with—whether it be in relation to nationality, religion, ideology, ontology or life philosophy. We are unable to open our hearts to others because of their different beliefs. Because of how they see the world and the visions of where they feel it ought to go.
I see that these divisions carry fear and anger with them. I see how they cause so much pain and suffering. I see how I cause myself and others so much pain and suffering. I see how division invites stress and anxiety into my life.
We all face division and conflict every day. Each one of us. You included. Me too.
HOW DO WE RESPOND TO CONFLICT?
Throughout human history, the answer to division has largely been a striving for collective coherence, a shared understanding of what the world is, how it works and where it should go—‘We need to get everyone to see things the same way. Only then there will be peace.’
This is the peace that countries go to war for. The peace that dictators conform citizenries around. The peace that religions, movements and cults promise their members.
The apparent sensibility is that—
‘If everyone sees the world the way we do, then there will be peace. Then there will be coordination and cooperation. Then we can move forward as one.’
The problem is that this collective ‘peace’ leads to conformity. It leads to the suppression of action, oppression of spirit, and the fear to express difference. It leads to viewing outsiders as threats that must be avoided or destroyed. Which ofcourse is all very fragile and unsunstainable. Hence it never lasts…
In many ways, the toxicity of conformity and suppression of individual expression has been seen. The chains loosened. We’re in that part of the cycle.
The liberation of sexuality is evidence of this. The dismantling of religious power is evidence of this. The wobbling of the nation state is evidence of it. The fragmentation of ideology is evidence of this. We’ve seen an opening up. A liberating.
Revolutions in equality have helped with this. The internet has helped with this. Social media has helped with this.
Progress … right?
So then why is there so much hatred, anger and animosity in the world? Why is there so much divisiveness? Why is there so much conflict? So much war?
Its there, as a fact. Don’t ignore it.
Fragmentation increases the opportunity for conflict
Liberation from the tyranny of a dictated social reality leads to more expression of individual-level uniqueness.
Great!!
Not so fast …
The problem is that to move away from apparent sameness, we come into contact with more and more differences. Differences are rare when you’re in a society where everyone believes, thinks and sees the same things. And so, division is too.
When you identify with a smaller subculture, outside of that subculture, difference is more common. At the level of the unique individual, every single interaction invites the possibility of difference.
This is fine, as long as we are okay with difference.
Unfortunately we aren’t. I’m not. You’re not. Humanity is not.
As a result, there is conflict at every scale of human interaction.
We want liberation, but we can’t handle the differences it creates.
Can you see the difficulty here? The merciless maze we’re stuck in?
As we move towards the full expression of our authentic selves, we naturally diverge. We rebel. We move towards difference. As we should. We are inherently different from one another! Like every tree, insect or cloud.
And yet we can’t handle this magnitude of difference. It leads to too much conflict.
And so what happens?
We retreat back toward groups of sameness with shared beliefs and unified visions. Tribes, cults and communities. We adopt the values of others and call them our own.
We are conforming to escape the discomforting conflict that arises out of difference. And we see others making this move too which helps us feel all normal and okay.
Is it okay?
Perhaps we find a middle ground…
A sweet spot where we can express some of our uniqueness but not the other parts. A trade is made. A barter of sorts. Freedom (and safety) of expression along one line, as long as we collapse all the other aspects of ourselves into the norms and expressions of the group.
Happy? Maybe not.
What this means is that both outwardly and inwardly there is division and conflict.
Outwardly, with those who are outside of our in-group. Outside of our tribe. Outside of the community that we share a particular expression with. They are the ‘others’. The outgroups. With them there is division. With them there is conflict. With them, there is the possibility of war.
Inwardly, there is division and conflict. As the aspects of ourselves that have been suppressed in order to be a part of the group, are still there. They don’t go away. They linger and yearn for expression. Parts of the soul in chains, howling for freedom.
PICK YOUR POISON
Society appears to endlessly cycle between more inner conflict (conformity, suppression) and more outer conflict (liberation, diversity, division and war).
Either way, the one thing that remains is conflict…
And that’s just the battle we face between the inner and outer worlds.
There is also division and conflict that arises within ourselves across time.
Who I was 10 years ago, 2 years ago or even a day ago may not be the person I am today. To bring an expectation of who I should be into the present, is to invite an image that creates conflict. Now the conflict is not just between me and the world, but also between two images within myself.
So there is division between myself and others. But also between myself, my memories and my expectations.
Can you see how the whole thing creates a brutal torture chamber that we suffer in for our entire lives? A self-inflicted incubator that breeds continuous struggle, conflict and war. War inwardly. War outwardly.
If you ever want to fully escape the torture chamber of division and conflict you have to see the damage it does. Not conceptually. Not intellectually. But as a felt understanding. As something you know as deeply true of your life.
Only then may the culprit reveal itself …
STUMBLING GODS
I don’t say this lightly—we have the opportunity to become gods.
All of us. Not powerful, almighty, egotistical gods of the superficial material realm. Real gods. Beings with the opportunity to live truly authentic lives, fully aligned, free from the torture chamber of inner and outer conflict. To move as embodiments of peace and equanimity. To be entirely responsible. To carry happiness wherever we go.
And we can do this together. In fact, our movement beyond division and conflict naturally helps others along their path too.
There is a price (or an apparent price anyway).
We need to give up any semblance we hold of who we are. We need to let go of all our identifications. Our psychological ownerships. The pet epistemologies and speculative ontologies we cling to. We need to drop the attachments to our favourite idiosyncrasies, and any desires to be different. To let go of ourselves continuously. To die to the moment, and then die again, and again, and again.
We do this already!
We do it in deep mediation. On a dancefloor or while in jazz. We do it in immersive conversations or while having sex. While surfing, sky diving, rock climbing or paddling down fast-flowing rapids. We do it when we aren’t trying to do anything. When there is no agenda. Where there is no motive or need for an outcome.
In these spaces, there is no division, no conflict, no war. No tension. No suffering. There is no separation. No ‘this and that’.
Everything is moving as it must. As it does. Flowing. Full.
The confusion is that we see these spaces as away rather than home. Like visitors that forgot they were locals. We say that we ‘lose ourselves in these experiences’, as if they are departures away from who we really are.
We don’t consider the possibility that this is how life is to be lived, rather than a way to escape from life. We become comfortable and familiar with our suffering and we hold onto it. Stockholm syndrome but the captors are ourselves.
The way out is always in. See that there is no division beyond that which the mind creates and holds on to.
Therein lies true freedom from conflict.
Conflicted
Inside and out
Me and you
Mind and world
False and true
Here and there
Gold and blue
Future and present
And don’t forget
the past too
Christian and Muslim
Arad and Jew
Secularist and animist
ABCD and LGTBQ
Outer control, inner war
Outer freedom, Lonely islands of more
Left, right, iPhone, Android
Mac, PC, progressive, traditionalist
Black, white, old, young, good, bad
Natural, artificial, indigenous, foreign
Everywhere we look
Our minds see the world
Ours minds are the world
Ideals traded for the real
We hear but we don’t listen
Touch but don’t feel
And yet, of course, we do
And we don't, and we do
Now then,
Hold on a second
Breathe
Let this melt and freeze
Let that wither and grow
Let it all simmer and soothe
Come and go
Nothing is the same
And yet nothing is not the same
Perfectly reasonable paradoxes
of the gameless game
Something may sink in and rise to the surface
Step up and surrender to it
Allow the confusion
And prod the clarity
Question the looking,
And see the parody
For when we don’t make sense,
We have arrived at our senses
Take care,
David
Art by Martin Cambriglia
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